You CAN'T make this crap up!!!

I had so much "fun" today!  Seriously....a 'crap-tastic' day!!!!  I really wish I had photos to share with you.  But I don't.  Because in real life you don't always have your camera!  And if I did have photos of my day today, you just simply wouldn't probably believe what happened.....you would think I 'set it all up.' 


Starts off at 6am---when I really didn't want to get up.

6:01am---Clothes in dryer are not dry......Dryer is taking a crap....and we have 'oodles and oodles' of money just laying around to buy a new one!

6:45am--- can't get the kids up.  This is usual, but the way today went....it just builds up from here!

7:15am--- Fight in the kitchen with the kids over what 'eat and run breakfast' is available to us.  Meltdown because there where NO peanut butter crackers!  Thanks Daddy for leaving the empty box in the cupboard giving the children false hope!

7:25am---In the car now.....locked and loaded!  Ready to roll!

7:25 and 1 second am---Oh I feel sorry for our dog.  She is locked up in the kennel because I don't trust her with the kittens alone when no one is home.  She is a past suspect in a kitten murder.  But being the humane person I am...and knowing it's going to hit almost 100* today.....I think I need to not let her out of the kennel, but give her an extra bowl of water!!!

7:26am---I put  the car in park and tell the kids to stay in.  I go up to the house and turn on the water hose and start untangling.  Oh great, now the kids are out of the car!!!!!  Running around with kittens.

7:27am---I open the kennel to water Daisy....because I really do care about her.  The excitement of the kids and kittens excites her and she barges her way out between me and the kennel.  GREAT!!!!

7:35am---FINALLY rounded up a dog and 2 children and shooshed away 6 cats!  We are finally MOVING in the right direction.

8:06am---Just about get ran over in the school parking lot! 

8:06 and 30seconds am---Just about got sideswiped in the school parking lot!

Seriously would like to talk to whomever drew up the plans for the school parking lot!!!!  It truly is a nightmare!!!

8:10am---Clocked in to work....only 10 minutes late!!!!!  I feel like I have won the battle!!!!!

Things are going smoothly......everything is good. 

11:43am---Left alone at work......then I am bombed with 3 customers and the phone is ringing!  WHY!  why me.....

NOON!---Afternoon worker is now at work.  we have no customers for the next hour and fifteen minutes...seriously????....why me.

1:15pm---Leave for my guitar lesson/lunch break.  I know you are all saying 'what?'  Yes, yes, I play guitar and I am totally 'crap-tastic' at that too!!!!

1:30pm---Arrive at lesson.....no teacher......mmmm.....what....
text him......he says "i'll be there....."
mmmmm.......

1:45pm---He shows up....and appoligizes.....I asked what time is my lesson???  I am confused...is it 1:30 or 2....i think i am losing it.
He says "your lesson is at 2....am I that late?"
Me....feeling like TOTAL idiot....."No you are not late at all.....I am 15 minutes early......"

2:45pm---Arrive back at work......yeah, 10 minutes late today and then I take an hour and a half lunch break!  Nice one.  Think I will be skipping lunch tomorrow....

2:46pm---Hurry up and finish a flower arrangement that is suppose to be delivered at 3pm and it's not done!!!

3:13pm---Jump in the floral delivery van with the arrangement and hit the road.

3:16pm---See red and blue lights behind me.....kindly move out of the way....

Oh WAIT...the red and blue lights are kindly following me as I kindly move out of the way........ oh dear....

3:17pm---Officer comes to window.
 And tells me I don't have my seatbelt on!
 WHAT!!!!  ARE YOU F****** KIDDING ME!!!!! 
He ask for my license.....well I don't have it!
 He says "YOU DON'T HAVE IT WITH YOU!"  
Uh no!!!  I explain to him that I am OR now WAS in a hurry to get these flowers delivered..  They needed to be there by 3 and I just grabbed the flowers and the van key and took off. 
And he says "WELL YOU GOT GOING AFTER 3"  
really, no shit!!!!!  I am in a hurry, you are lucky I was not speeding....now the flowers are going to be even more LATE!!!!
He then ask for the registration and insurance card......After I dig thru 12 years worth of registrations and insurance cards I finally find the current one!  I am thinking NO ONE has probably EVER gotten pulled over in the floral van!!!!!!!!!

3:19pm---I have to step back into the patrol car!  OH! AND IT HAS THE DRUG DOG IN IT!!!!!
He ask me what my name is and this is EXACTLY what I say........
"My name is Katie..........well.......my real name is.....(he looks up at me very interested)...... Katherine....but I go by Katie"
And then I laugh!!!!!  Because when I get nervous...I LAUGH!  and now I am sweating.....because when I get nervous I SWEAT!
Then he ask for my middle name.
"Jeanette"  And he ask me to spell it......
I spell "J-E-A-N-EE-T-E"
Can you spell it again...
"J-E-A-N-EE-T-.........OOPS (nervous laugh) J-E-A-N-E-T-T-E!"
Next he ask for my address....And then ask me to spell the town!
I said "Are you serious?  I feel like this is a pop quiz!!!"  followed by stupid nervous laugh.  I then begin kicking myself inside.....saying "you idiot....stop acting like a flipping idiot...he probably thinks you are higher than a kite....and the drug dog must think so too, because he is awfully quiet!"
So I say "Well, at least this is free advertising for the flower shop!  Don't really know if it is good or bad advertising!" .... and he just looks at me.....

3:24pm---watch 4 other cars get pulled over.  Mr Cop says "As you can see we are in the middle of an operation!  Ever heard 'Click it or Ticket'"       
I wanna scream "Yeah....ever heard of 'Screw it or Fuck it'! Also known as 'Operation My Day Sucks'!!!!"

3:26pm---Am finally given my operation click it or ticket-ticket .....and realize it really should be "Screw it or Fuck it".........$127.50!!!!!!!   REALLLLLLYYYYY!!!!!  $127.50!!!!!! let me spell that out for you!!!!!
ONE HUNDRED TWENTY SEVEN DOLLARS AND 50 CENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:34pm---Deliver the flowers with a 'you have no idea what I have been thru to get HERE' smile :)

3:46pm---Back at work.  Other employees ask...where are you been!!!!  I give them the above story and they make fun of me!

3:53pm---Husband calls work.  All excited about Huey Lewis being at the Clay County Fair.  Wants to know if I wanna go......(not really, but it's a night out...without the kids....)
I ask how much is a ticket?
Husband says $35.
I say NO....How much is a seatbelt ticket???
He says...what?
I say How much is a seatbelt ticket????
He says...I don't know....$140?
I say NO....it is one hundred twenty seven dollars and 50 cents.
He says....you idiot!!! Did you get a seatbelt ticket!!!

5:00 and not a second later---I punch out from work!!!!
Walking to my mini van and get hollared at by some young punks......sadly might be the highlight of my day.

5:16pm---pick up kids from daycare and have heard non-stop yelling, whining, fighting ever since....

BEST DAY EVER!!!!!
 And on top of it all....it's "that time of the month." 
WHERE'S THE TEQUILA!!!!!!